Common ground

Yesterday was a day of reflection for me. It was voting day in America. It would have been Logan’s first time casting a ballot. He loved politics. As a young teen, he was, even more so than my husband and me, a staunch conservative, both on fiscal and social issues. In 9th grade, about the time we became computer-owning, internet-accessible people, Logan’s world view began to change. Access to a vast array of information and to people whose circumstances varied wildly from his own fascinated Logan. He became liberal in his thinking, yet remained very conservative with his finances and his second amendment rights. He and I would often discuss politics and the influence of religion on it. Our discussions often became heated. He was a talented debater--firm in his opinions and well informed on both sides of every issue. He had the ability to make me feel ignorant, grasping for words and resorting to catch phrases when my mind couldn’t keep up with his quick wit. It exasperated me and invigorated him, but I delighted in the fact that he thought I was worth arguing with. By the end of his life, I think Logan viewed himself as a socialist  more so than a democrat, evolving (or devolving, depending on your politics) from Rush Limbaugh to Noam Chomsky.  I hope he knew how hard I tried to be respectful of his opinions. I hope he understood my point that life’s journey might have brought him down a path that led right back to his conservative roots.

Throughout the course of this election process, I have wondered how many times I would have wanted to strangle my Logan. As I filled in my ballot, I knew that his votes would have cancelled mine out, right down the page. We would have loved each other anyway.  We would have worked together on many things. We would have broken bread and built bridges. I would have worked to show him that each man’s opinion is valid and should be respected, that being louder or more eloquent in speech doesn't make one more right. He would have pushed me into acting otherwise. I hope he would still have found comfort and safety in the conservative values of the people in the home where he was raised. I hope I would have peeked at the opposing side of an issue and imagined I walked in another man’s shoes for an short time. I imagine both of us would have grown a little and both of us would have groaned a lot. In the end, I think we would have agreed to disagree.

This morning, I was dismayed by the ugliness that continues in the name of politics on social media. It really amounts to bullying and gloating, to smugness and contentiousness. The party of tolerance seems hypocritical in it’s inability to respect the other side’s positions. The party of self reliance casts blame on government instead of self. Through it all, I think I’ve come to dislike people I once considered to be friends, not for their stance on issues, but for their mode of delivery of their message and the belittling of our differences. We are a government of the people, by the people, and for the people. We shouldn’t wonder, then, when we consider how we treat one another, that our politicians are more interested in toeing the party line than calling truces and working together for the common good.  We are different, but surely we seek what each of us views as the common good. The common good requires common ground. Common ground requires respect. Respect requires tolerance. Tolerance begins when you get over yourself. I learned that from Logan. I wish beyond wishing that he had been there to cancel out my vote yesterday.